If you're asking at what age a student should begin actively researching college websites and set up an account with a search engine like the one provided by the College Board, my recommendation is no later than the beginning of his/her junior year of high school. However, with more and more young people beginning to think about college sooner in their high school career, there's no reason not to start searching toward the end of your freshman high school year, especially if you plan on touring schools in your sophomore year or perhaps with an older sibling already in the process. Most public and private high schools won't introduce students to Naviance, Scior, or whatever software they use for the admissions process until the student's junior year, but that doesn't mean that you have to wait. There are plenty of free college search engines to choose from to get you started.
Our advice regarding how to handle a deferral is to stay in touch with the admissions rep for your area at the schools that remain at the top of your list once you've been deferred. It's important that they know that they remain your top choice of school. Additionally, it will help if, when you reach out via email, you can keep them updated on things you're doing and succeeding at. For example, if your sports team is undefeated, you've recently completed a significant project, made the honor roll, or won an award, you should let them know. It may also help to ask them if there's anything additional that they'd like you to provide, like an additional letter of recommendation. Basically, the most important thing you can do is make them aware that you're still very interested in being admitted and that you're willing to provide them with whatever may be necessary to make that happen.
Those you are overhearing are 100% wrong. Our recommendation would be to ask them from whom they've received their information. Unless such info comes directly from a college Admissions Office or a reputable College Counselor who has relationships with Admissions Offices, it is solely hearsay. Colleges would rather a student take a more rigorous class, such as an AP level course, and receive a lower grade like a B than see a student take an easier course and receive an A+, this is of course provided that the more rigorous class is appropriate for the specific student. In other words, a student who struggles to earn a C+ in algebra 2 should not be seeking a seat in AP Calc AB or calc honors, but shouldn't necessarily forego taking standard calculus, either. Course selection is not a perfect science. That's what we're here to help with!
Colleges rarely pay attention to your electives. They look at your core classes - English, history, science, math and language - over all 4 years paying specific attention to the rigor in your transcript and your freshman-junior year grades. Again, course selection can be tricky. We are here to help students choose their classes year-over-year.
When you receive her formal financial aid package/letter/award from each school (which usually arrives in March/April), all forms of aid will be itemized: loans, scholarships, grants, work study. At that time, you'll be asked to accept or reject each. The most any school will offer her in federal loans will be $5500. That is the max for a freshman. (Sophomores max out at $6500; juniors and seniors max out at $7500.) If you're interested in loans above the $5500, research the Federal PLUS loan. It will allow you to cover up to the remaining cost of attendance as long as you have a good credit history. Outside of that, you'd need to research private loans.
After you submit your FAFSA for your first set of schools and you receive confirmation of its receipt, you will go back into the form and remove the initial list of schools and add the next list of schools and resubmit the form. You can do this as many times as necessary. There are two important things to remember: some states, including CT, require that you list any in-state universities as your first and second schools in order to be considered for maximum aid; secondly, if you need to make a change to your FAFSA after it's been submitted, that change will only be seen by the most recent colleges listed. The most effective way to make all the other previously listed schools aware of your change would be to contact the schools' financial aid offices directly which will allow them to make the necessary changes on their end.
Once you receive a scholarship, make sure to notify your school’s financial aid department. The department will apply the scholarship award to your semester tuition invoice. If you have other grants, scholarships, or certain student loans, the total aid cannot be more than the cost of your tuition. Prior to the start of each new college school year, you should receive a tuition package that itemizes the costs of tuition, room, board and other associated fees for the year. Likewise, it will itemize your various sources of aid including federal loans, federal grants, work study amounts, college offered need-based and/or merit-based awards, and any private scholarships of which you've informed them. You have the opportunity to accept or reject each individual offer of aid. Do not accept more than you need. Additionally, note how and where specific funds are applied. Certain scholarships specify the funds be used for tuition ONLY, or room and board, or books, or other expenses, so make sure you understand the terms and that specific monies are applied and allocated appropriately. Also, be aware that certain scholarships may be subject to taxation if they are considered income. Lastly, some schools will not allow you to "stack" scholarships. For example, if you're awarded institutional merit aid in the amount of $15,000 and you receive outside scholarships that total $5,000, the school may reduce your institutional merit aid to $10,000. Any college financial aid office should be able to assist you through this process and more specifically, with the details of the packages they offer.
It sounds like your friend is refering to the tuition-break program offered by the New England Board of Higher Education (NEBHE) known as the Regional Student Program (RSP). According to their website, "the New England Regional Student Program (RSP) enables thousands of New England residents to enroll at out-of-state New England public colleges and universities at a discount. Students are eligible for the RSP Tuition Break when they enroll in an approved major that is not offered by the public colleges and universities in their home-state. New England includes the following six states: Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont." For a complete list of current eligible programs broken down by each New England state, click here. Additionally, similar programs may be found in other areas of the country. For those living in Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio, Nebraska, North Dakota, South Dakota, or Wisconsin, check mhec.org. Residents of sixteen Southern states will find similar programs offered by the Southern Regional Education Board at sreb.org. Similarly, the Western Interstate Commission for Higher Education does the same for sixteen Western states and territories. Refer to wiche.edu for greater detail.